Real motives work.

Dear diary,

I'm a 5 minute ambition man. I'm very ambitious about achieving anything, but only for 5 minutes. Once that 5 minutes has past I find myself losing interest. This really inst working for me, something needs to change. I need to find out why i lose intrest so quickly.

After hours of pondering this i thought back to my 5 minute ambitions, and realised that my only motive was boredom. So now im going to go back to my lost conquests and explain to myself why i need to achieve them. The first that came to mind was my fitness regime, I told myself i was doing this to get healthier and therefore happier. Then something tripped, i realised that i can lie to other people but i cant lie to myself, it simply wont work.

 So ive restarted my fitness regime, gym, swims and runs you name it, and have been successfully keeping up with it all for a month (which is a milestone for me). The cause for this is that im not lying to myself about the motives anymore. Being a regular bus\train catcher, i have on multiple occasions missed my ride by 30 seconds or less. This is a huge inconvenience and ruins my schedule and my mood for the rest of the day. Now if i was fitter and able to run just a little faster this would no longer be a problem. A month in and this is no longer a problem, and it has nothing to do with leaving the house 5 minutes earlier every day. Its the reason im able to stick to my routine

As mentioned before I'm learning to speak Chinese. Which is great, because now i can tell people that im learning another language so i can explore and understand another culture, if i tell people this it makes them think im rather sophisticated. Where is in reality, I've cracked. I've had enough of people speaking Chinese in front of me and having no idea what they're saying, but no more.


dazzatwentytwo signing off

--some 2010 drivel, guess I get a bit repetitive