Everybodys got a story to tell

Dear Diary,

I know many things, i would even go as far as saying that i know more than the average person, how much of that is actually useful, i'm not going to compete against the average person, because in actual fact what happened in the last episode of House md, may not be deemed as all that useful....

Though what i know really isnt what concerns me, mainly because i already know it. What concerns me is that useless bit of information that your keeping from me, that strictly speaking really is none of my business. Throughout my life ive spent hours upon hours living up in this imagination of mine, just having a jolly good time. While im up here(here being my imagination), i'm always thinking about what that conversation i missed was all about, and its all been because you've baited me with key phrases like "thanks so much for that", "its going to be awesome" or "yer that was allot of fun". A few times ive been brave\intrusive enough to ask, "what did you do?". "whats going to be awesome" or "what was fun" , more often than not to be denied the information im seeking and most probably given the label as busy body or some iteration of that. Or even worse, hearing the ever so boring truth.

 Now don't get me wrong sometimes people have extremely interesting stories, but generally i haven't met anyone with more than say 10, this might be because i need to get out more, or my expectations of people are too high. But yeah, no more than 10 are interesting enough to get drilled into my brain and give me an immense amount of enjoyment. These are peoples trophy stories, generally they are that good to hear about that 10 years later that story or an iteration of it features in a scene of blockbuster out of hollywood. One of my good friends Allan told me a story about a stint he had in a city where he had been mugged and held at gun point, for me this was one of his extremely interesting stories, Allan was a pretty interesting guy though he's probably one of the few people that i know who has about 10 stories. I think that might be a character floor of mine, or maybe even of humanitys that we only find something extremely interesting if it involves a high amount of risk, and the stakes involved are high.

 Though after those stories everyones got about 500 mediocre stories that are moderately interesting and serve no real purpose other than to help pass the time. Allot of these stories are like personal jokes, they're the best if you took part in the event, though if you were unfortunate enough not to be, you sort of give off a weak sense of agreement and a half assed attempt at a chuckle and hope that the next story is going to be a little more interesting or include you. Lets face it, everythings more intresting when we get to hear about ourselves.

Either way I'm not enjoying this re-telling of events as much as if it was one that involved me, or if it had some element of high stakes.... actually thinking about it now i also enjoy hearing about events, where people i know act out of character, i find this amusing also. Like you know what i mean, if dare-devil dan jumps off another building, who cares ive heard this before, but if mums-boy matt joins the gypsy jokers and is tangled up in a drug scandal, you've got me on the hook.


dazzatwentytwo signing off

--The final unpublished post of 2010, its been a walk down memory lane, some good material here that just needs a bit of refactoring

Real motives work.

Dear diary,

I'm a 5 minute ambition man. I'm very ambitious about achieving anything, but only for 5 minutes. Once that 5 minutes has past I find myself losing interest. This really inst working for me, something needs to change. I need to find out why i lose intrest so quickly.

After hours of pondering this i thought back to my 5 minute ambitions, and realised that my only motive was boredom. So now im going to go back to my lost conquests and explain to myself why i need to achieve them. The first that came to mind was my fitness regime, I told myself i was doing this to get healthier and therefore happier. Then something tripped, i realised that i can lie to other people but i cant lie to myself, it simply wont work.

 So ive restarted my fitness regime, gym, swims and runs you name it, and have been successfully keeping up with it all for a month (which is a milestone for me). The cause for this is that im not lying to myself about the motives anymore. Being a regular bus\train catcher, i have on multiple occasions missed my ride by 30 seconds or less. This is a huge inconvenience and ruins my schedule and my mood for the rest of the day. Now if i was fitter and able to run just a little faster this would no longer be a problem. A month in and this is no longer a problem, and it has nothing to do with leaving the house 5 minutes earlier every day. Its the reason im able to stick to my routine

As mentioned before I'm learning to speak Chinese. Which is great, because now i can tell people that im learning another language so i can explore and understand another culture, if i tell people this it makes them think im rather sophisticated. Where is in reality, I've cracked. I've had enough of people speaking Chinese in front of me and having no idea what they're saying, but no more.


dazzatwentytwo signing off

--some 2010 drivel, guess I get a bit repetitive

The pre-outing.... the hassel

Dear diary,
Ocasionaly i get invited to outings, may it be with family, friends or something more. Which is great because i love getting invited to things, however inconvenient or commonplace they may be. Now getting invited to go gym, play video games or beach are probably my favourite things to get invited to. Not because these are the things i enjoy the most, but because they require the least pre-outing preparation, aren't time sensitive,local, and the least capital investment (as mentioned before im a bit of a tightarse).

Though occasionally  , im invited to lunch\dinner\breakfast\drinks. All of which require an amount of pre-outing time investment that really takes a bigger chunk out of my day than i would care to commit to.

The prees.
Pretty embarising to . That voice in your head yelling food at you, and im just getting started

The clothes
Like everyone else ive heard the saying or an alteration of "back in my day....", well i bet back in your day you didnt need to worry about dress standards just to have a meal at a restraunt or a few drinks at your local pub. You have no idea how much it pains me to bust out the iron. Yeah ironing only takes what? 2 minutes. Though your not including the half an hour that it takes me to look for where i put it 6 months ago, or the time it takes to source out a clear flat surface that my portable ironing board will fit on, that's within 2 m of a power point, which is allot harder than it sounds.

The transport
Im a terrible parker, so if i can help it i like to arrange

--Incomplete 2010 ramblings

Small victories

Dear diary,
The majority of my life I act with the opinion that the world is out to get me. Sometimes it might be the bird poop on my windscreen, that sticky stuff on the bottom of my shoe. Those inconveniences like the traffic that doubles the travel time of my trip, that dodgy card reader that wont let me withdraw money, so i have to pay $2 to get it out of one that will . You know just those small, inconveniences that just make you SNAP when you're on a losing streak.

Really though i need to stop being a pessimist, because ive had way too many victories to offset these.
Like the amount of times the fare machine has not worked so i get to ride for free
Roomates buying kleenex instead of homebrand toilet paper.
The list goes on.


dazzatwentytwo signing off

--Another gem from 2010... there's some ideas in here I need to explore further... will edit later :)

You had a great weekend, well thats flippin awesome

Dear diary,

The weekends a few days past now, its Tuesday. But i still havent caught up with all my regular acquaintances to see how theirs went. "How was your weekend" is one of those staple questions that i resort too if i have nothing better to talk about, maybe this comes back down to etiquette. It's one of those questions i resort to so i dont need to ask "How's the weather been lately?", because we all know, unless  the weather is imperative to what you're currently doing the conversation your having is a bit of a train wreck.

Anyway, I do like to hear how peoples weekends went, see what en devours they got up to, just basically what they did to pass the time. Though i do get extremely jealous if my friend went to a concert when i was sitting at home studying

Heres an example:

"How good was the Florence and Machine concert on the weekend!!!" 

If i was there.

"Yeah it was awesome, how good was she when she played Dog Days are over".... and the conversation continues in a light hearted manner with both parties thoroughly enjoying themselves.

If i wasn't there

"Yeah it sounded awesome I listened to the radio stream of it afterwards"

or "I dont know im sure it would have been i had work" or "I'm was too broke"... Either way deep down im thinking %#@& you, you know i wasn't there are you just trying to piss me off, because your doing a good job.... or if im in a good mood im thinking that's great im happy for you but i really can't relate at all since i wasn't there.


dazzatwentytwo signing off

-- Publishing this gem I wrote back in 2010, guess I haven't changed much haha

Inspirational thoughts

Dear diary,

Its pretty apparent to me that i am a five minute man.... Not like that, In the sense that i am incredibly enthusiastic, motivated etc. though only for a short period of time, before i lose interest and take up another conquest. Though im going to try an re correct this. If i put it in writing theres no way to undo it.... i have no problem with erasing memories, i got my good friends that can be found at 'first choice' or 'dan murphys' at discounted prices to help with that, which kind of scares me because theres probably allot of things ive done, that ive forgotten, maybe even forgotten twice. Though once its typed thats it. I've watched enough movies to know that data can never be erased, somehow theres always someway to track keystrokes, sure theres ways of hiding them, but history's taught me that nothing ever really stays hidden. I'm sure one day they'll even find that holly grail that they've been looking for.

So it continues.
I'm committing. Or at least going for 10 minutes. I'm a realist, i cant help it anything over 10 is taking it a bit too far. I'm going to continue diarying(i know this isnt a real word, though due to my lack in vocabulary for not knowing the verb for writing in a diary this will have to do). I'm going to go over my past ventures and clock on another 5 minutes, and maybe even another 5 after that, who knows.

"The sky is the limit".
But not really. Because i used to love hearing "deep and meaningful" phrases like that. Though now ive come to the point where im trying to draw meaning from that which has none and "the sky is the limit" was just something a student heard his\her teacher say that they continued to take out of context, to form some "profound" inspirational quote. If you really want something, you are the only barrier, not time or money, if you want it bad enough you'll find a way to make it happen. If its not happening its because ive got my priorities mixed up, or simply im not trying hard enough.

"so beigins the first day of the rest of my life...." I really am thankful that there has been so many word-smiths over the course of time so that, i can add more content to these entrys, so that hopefully i can look back and be impressed at how powerful my writing is , when really the power comes from the stolen words.and the illusion in my mind. Thats what i needed to keep the ball rolling, something a bit deeper, a bit darker, but really just the same old drivel....

dazzatwentytwo signing off


--More 2010 unpublished blogs

minimum conflict

Dear diary,
The day started like any other, i completed a few of my remedial house chores, phoned a friend and completed a few more daily rituals. Like any other day it hit 6pm and i got hungry, and i found myself perousing through fast food brochures as i had no previous dinner arrangements, and like always really couldn't bring myself to cook. I was browsing through my local fish and chips pamphlet, and one product caught my attention, minimum chips and knocked over a domino in my mind. No order is complete without chips, sure you could just have squid rings or fish, but really you're cheating yourself, its like that suit without a tie, its great, but its not complete. I thought about this and how it related to my life, and realized that i need minimum %$%^ to make me happy.

*conflict , sometime i make typos

I get my minimum conflict in many ways. You hear about people performing random acts of kindness all the time. Me on the other hand try to commit to random acts of conflict. Whether this mean that i deliberately take twice as long to cross a crosswalk, turn my mp3 player up loud enough so the person next to me can hear it, but not loud enough so that they can enjoy the music, sometimes i might even block the overtaking lane while doing a good 10km under the speed limit. Ok I'm not being an asshole intentionality , i'm a junkie, a junkie thats addicted to annoying people, if i could quit i would... but i cant . I'm just taking out my addiction in the most responsible way i know how, on random unsuspecting bystanders. What am I supposed to do? take it all out on one person, dont be stupid that would be irresponsible.

**Orders fish and chips**

I'm still quite responsible though as I do everything I can to suppress this need for conflict. whether that might be getting enough sleep at night so i have more energy to resist my urge, ordering takeaway so i dont need to deal with the stress of cooking and cleaning up, or even avoiding hard work wherever possible so that i have more time to deal with my addiction.

So next time I see someone deliberately walk slowly across a crosswalk, or listen to their music too loud, i can understand that they are just getting their conflict fix out of the way, so that they can continue living their lives like normal people, because at the end of the day isnt that what we want? to be normal.

dazzatwentytwo signing off

I've never won best dressed

Dear diary.

Every now and then i like to sway from my traditional casual wardrobe (slim fit jeans(not to be mistaken for skinny) and t-shirt sometimes a polo if i'm feeling extra important. On these occasions i go all out as i attempt to become a stereotype. I'm not trying to be the worlds poster boy for these stereotypes, though i would like to be the best out of a public sample space of 50 people or less. Though unfortunately my attention to detail leaves me coming in second best. Some memorable ones come to mind, my failed attempt at :

A bogan.
A bogan is one of Australias, more well known stereotypes. They enjoy going about their day to day lives disregarding all sense of fashion, drinking cheap Australian beer, can often be found driving around in their falcon or commodore, listen to bands such as acdc, cold chisel and midnight oil, and are generally pretty tough and ruff people, as indicated by their watching of tuff(its how a bogan spells tough) sports such as v8 racing and aussie rules. As introduced by previous diary entries i'm against discrimination and see bogans just as one of Australias predominant subcultures. Hats off to them though, they are patriotic people, keeping traditions alive and generally hard workers, its unfortunate that the few violent, racist and  have lead for a bad name for the rest of them. Back to me, so here i was looking in my wardrobe to pick the attire that would best suit the ocassion. I picked out a short pair of black board shorts (i don't own any stubbies), a borrowed bintang singlet* that i have no intention of giving back (thanks little cousin max), thongs and a carton of VB (victoria bitter, an iconic australian beer, that against popular belief doesn't actually taste that bad when cold, ive actually enjoyed a good many stubbies over the period of my life so far). Now because i was attending a poker game at a friends house that was less than 2km away, i thought id showcase my outfit. It was going so well 1.5km down and people had crossed the street to avoid walking past me, id received atleast 3 dirty looks from members of the local population. Then bam there he was overtaking me from the left (I was on the footpath so it wasn't an illegal road maneuver),the guy who was going to outdo all my hard work,and he didnt even need beer.he had put so much more effort into his costume(i say costume but it was more than likely his day to day wear). He was sporting a mullet(a traditional bogan haircut) and tomato sauce stains down his singlet (Like all true Aussies, bogans enjoy meat pies, but they also wear stains on their clothes like war medals, to indicate to passerbys that "Yes i did eat a meat pie earlier on in the day, heres my stain to prove it"). I was second place, and everyone knows, your either first or your last.

*A bin tang singlet is a popular purchase from bali. Change is usually provided from a $1 for the savy shopper. Imo this made it all the more authentic as i have never been to bali and did not own the singlet i was wearing.

Hardcore.
Hardcore people listen to hard rock, or sometimes even metal. They too are generally tough people. I gave it my best attempt, my head was already shaved** i sourced some skinny leg jeans and a leather jacket from my wardrobe and proceeded to show the world how well i had done by taking a train into the city. I was quite proud at how well id done, so i thought id compete against everyone catching public transport that night. I hadnt even made it two stops when some guy walks in wearing boots (i knew i had missed something), a rage against the machine t-shirt(I love these guys but they are definitely hardcore rockers), a stud in one ear(a stud in one ear is hardcore, a stud in two is camp), and tattoos all over his neck and arms not to mention he was styling some dreadies that looked like they hadent been washed... ever (They didnt smell they just looked extremely greasy, so it posed no hygiene issue in case you were wondering(and no i dont go up to random people and smell their hair, he sat next to me, i didnt dare talk though incase i was discovered for the fraud i was)). If i hadn't already made previous plans in the city i would have gotten off the train right then and there, he had clearly beaten me.

**Haircuts like a shaved haircut and dreadies are traditional hardcore haircuts, with the progression of style, this has evolved to hair straightening and dyeing, but im a traditionalist so shaved head worked fine for me.

Unfortunately ive run out of room for this diary entry so will continue my dress up attempts in another entry.

dazzatwentytwo signing off

Why im better than you

Dear diary,

I've been reading my past entries, reliving past memories, and just really absorbing how much of a hero i really am. And to be honest i think its time a recap to remind myself. Of course i cant go, into the full details of every act of heroism i have taken part in, my keyboard simply cant handle that kind of punishment.

I catch public transport, instead of driving.
It really helps me sleep at night knowing that, i am single handedly saving the environment one tree at a time. I also make a conscious effort to put all my rubbish into the bin and to use green bags(those bage made out of canvas) whenever i go shopping, instead of plastic, because we all know plastic is the environments worst enemy. I check my mail box every day, because i know that if mother nature, ever learns to master the keyboard or pen and paper, that i will be receiving a thank you letter. Me being the brilliant mind i am understands that evolution takes time, and so i am patiently waiting for that day. Thats another good quality of mine, im patient and happy to wait. I really dont know how i do it, i guess its all just part of being a hero.

I smile at everyone i come into contact with.
 It burdens my conscience  to know that online communication is slowly taking its market share on smiles, with its new and innovative expressions such as :) or :D, which aren't real smiles. They are more a text based representation of a real smile, and since they are only two dimensional, lacking serious attention to detail(you dont see dimples on a text based smile), and so black and white(double connotations implied) they only supply 2% HF of a real smile(happiness factor) . Though me being the humanitarian that i am, do my best to keep peoples daily real smile count as high as i can, whether i am genuinely happy or not, i will provide the general public with smile aid, its just part of what i do to make the world a better place.

I keep the economy going. Whether or not we are in a financial crisis, like that being experienced from 2007-now, or a boom, I will continue to do my bit. I will be spending money on goods and services, until my dieing breath. I could easily do what so many selfish people do and go live off the land, hunting animals and foraging fruit and vegetables , not contributing a dime. Though me being the selfless person i am, will put myself through the pain of consuming another cappuccino, chocolate bar or a new accessory for my iphone, because i know thats what it takes to keep the economy going. Sometimes i think its thanks to me that Australia's economy is in such a good state.

I could go on for much longer, though i think im going to stop here, my wrists are hurting just at the thought of it....

dazzatwentytwo signing off

--more 2010 druel

Breaking down the barriers

Dear diary,

Today like many other days, i was forced into saying something i really didn't want to say, and something i really didn't believe and all in the name of political correctness and being nice. Which i think is fair enough as i think if we operate in these parameters long enough we will abolish, all forms of discrimination. You never hear someone call some-one a fat bastard or a skinny runt* it will be wiped out of pop culture forever and people would no longer discriminate against people because of their physical appearance. Oh i almost forgot the gingers, poor bunch of people, its sad that no matter how much they achieve in life.... at the end of the day they will still be ginger.... im joking i love all my ginger friends, but i do see what toll being a ginger takes on peoples life.... atleast im going to claim to, to sound more like the hero i am :D.

*i dont think "skinny runts" get all the sympathy they deserve. I'm one of those people that are a bit more slight of build than the average guy, but unlike many more of my kind i dont have any kind of athletic advantage on my larger counterparts. may it be reflexes, speed or strength. So sure maybe i could just go and have a burger.... GUESS WHAT IVE HAD 12, or maybe i could just go to the gym.... well yer sure maybe you could also do cardio. What im really trying to get across is that i think fat and skinny people should be seen as equals, you know a bit of gym and exercise fixes both our problems, we're really just the same. Abolishing the barriers between people of different sizes, thats what im all about.

Now, i work in a line of work where people skills are vital, so manners and etiquette are of the up-most importance to be successful in my job*. At least im sure thats what one of the HR(human resources) team told me, and i do believe that good etiquette is a vital tool when interacting with other people. Though its gotten to the stage where i suppress my opinion that much that i've become like a computer with allot of my responses question and answers that i use to interact with people (this being people ive just met, generally i find among my friends i can say whatever it is i want, without too much judgment, thats probably the thing i most value about my friends). To help combat this though ive recently taken advantage of the notes feature in my phone, where i type in what i would have said in the "room of no consequence"** , and then later going back and reading it for my own comical amusement(sad but true sometimes this is the highlight of my day), before then going through and deleting it all, so that if one day i do lose my phone people dont get insights into my thought about certain demographics, (thats me doing my bit to stay politically correct, i'm all about breaking down the barriers). It's little things like this that i think keeps me sane or otherwise. I think that wraps up what i wanted to talk about, until next time.....

*Just for the record i do a no brainer job in hospitality, where i either go around picking up empty glassware or serve patrons drinks, or sometimes i really skillful and i go all out, mix it up a bit and do both in the one shift.

**I'm pretty sure its self explanatory, but the room of no consequence is a theoretical room where i can go and say and do whatever it is i want with no consequence.... for me this can sometimes become a very dark place, though ill leave this for another entry at another time.

dazzatwentytwo signing off