minimum conflict

Dear diary,
The day started like any other, i completed a few of my remedial house chores, phoned a friend and completed a few more daily rituals. Like any other day it hit 6pm and i got hungry, and i found myself perousing through fast food brochures as i had no previous dinner arrangements, and like always really couldn't bring myself to cook. I was browsing through my local fish and chips pamphlet, and one product caught my attention, minimum chips and knocked over a domino in my mind. No order is complete without chips, sure you could just have squid rings or fish, but really you're cheating yourself, its like that suit without a tie, its great, but its not complete. I thought about this and how it related to my life, and realized that i need minimum %$%^ to make me happy.

*conflict , sometime i make typos

I get my minimum conflict in many ways. You hear about people performing random acts of kindness all the time. Me on the other hand try to commit to random acts of conflict. Whether this mean that i deliberately take twice as long to cross a crosswalk, turn my mp3 player up loud enough so the person next to me can hear it, but not loud enough so that they can enjoy the music, sometimes i might even block the overtaking lane while doing a good 10km under the speed limit. Ok I'm not being an asshole intentionality , i'm a junkie, a junkie thats addicted to annoying people, if i could quit i would... but i cant . I'm just taking out my addiction in the most responsible way i know how, on random unsuspecting bystanders. What am I supposed to do? take it all out on one person, dont be stupid that would be irresponsible.

**Orders fish and chips**

I'm still quite responsible though as I do everything I can to suppress this need for conflict. whether that might be getting enough sleep at night so i have more energy to resist my urge, ordering takeaway so i dont need to deal with the stress of cooking and cleaning up, or even avoiding hard work wherever possible so that i have more time to deal with my addiction.

So next time I see someone deliberately walk slowly across a crosswalk, or listen to their music too loud, i can understand that they are just getting their conflict fix out of the way, so that they can continue living their lives like normal people, because at the end of the day isnt that what we want? to be normal.

dazzatwentytwo signing off